Brother Bill's Bad Week by J. Orlin Grabbe Mr. Clinton, whose face is slowly turning into silly putty, has had a bad week or two. It all started when the story of Dick Morris and his well-paid girlfriend broke just before Bill Clinton royally presented himself to the Democratic National Convention to deliver the speech Morris had written for him. Brother Bill kept looking up at the wall, to reassure himself no moving finger had spelt out "Mena, Mena, Tikel, Upharsim". That night, Brother Bill went to sleep and dreamed of national security, the very thing that Morris had been busy violating. Morris, meanwhile, was having bad dreams about a crowbar motel, where they don't have room service. In the morning, Brother Bill said he was thinking about sending more troops to the Middle East. Just *thinking*, he said, even while secret orders were given to additional units of the 101 Airborne to head to Saudi Arabia. Then, as the *Star* hit supermarket newsstands with pictures of Dick Morris and Sherry Rowlands, Brother Bill dispatched 44 Tomahawk and AGM-86 cruise missiles into the sands of Iraq. Only then could he sit back and wait for the results. Not the tally of successful missile strikes, mind you, but the voter poll. Had he scored a hit with the electorate? Brother Bill discovered his missiles had only partially reached their military targets, and moreover resounded with a dull thud in foreign capitals. France was busily sending Saddam anti-aircraft weapons. Both Turkey and Saudi Arabia refused Bill permission to use their territory to launch the air raid on Iraq. Even the U.N. failed to pass a resolution condemning Iraq's incursion into the Kurdish twilight zone. These were not slaps at the United States. They were slaps at the vote-for-me actions of a Presidential desperado. Only participants on CNN's Crossfire would be dumb enough not to know the whole endeavor was a campaign gimmick. Then the Vice-President of Colombia asked the President, Ernesto Samper, to resign because he has lost control of the country, and used drug money to finance his last election campaign. (Does that make you nervous, Brother Bill? Is there anything the U.S. can learn from the Colombian example?) Meanwhile, those circa 2045 FBI files Bill Clinton had had uploaded from the FBI computer into his own White House Office "Big Brother" system continued to blow up in his face. The Justice Department is now looking into the role of the FBI General Counsel, Howard Shapiro, in the whole affair. Shapiro is the lackey who has been leaking info on a steady basis to the White House: a draft copy of *Unlimited Access* by Gary Aldrich in February; advise to White House lawyer Jack Quinn when he was criticizing FBI agent Sculimbrene in July; and the presence of a 1993 report in Craig Livingstone's FBI file that said Livingstone had come highly recommended by Hillary Rodham Clinton. Shapiro was a protege of Louis Freeh, and one suspects he was acting under Director Freeh's orders. William Clinger also wants Dick Morris to testify what he knows about those FBI files. Morris told Sherry Rowlands that a paranoid Hillary Clinton ordered up the files. (Just what else does Dick Morris have to tell us, Brother Bill?) Meanwhile, Mike McCurry says, "The President is obviously against the crime of prostitution . . ." (Well, yes, that's because you always expected to get it for free, didn't you, Brother Bill?) The prostitutes over at the FBI also continued to stall and to blatantly lie about the downing of TWA Flight 800. They talked about "vacuuming" the ocean bottom to look for more clues, in the manner of some insane Sherlock Holmes roaming the city streets and peering into every garbage can. The FAA even sent TWA a bill for about 5 million dollars to pay for all this mindless activity. TWA told them they could stick their bill where the sun doesn't shine. (Makes you nervous, doesn't it Brother Bill, that some people are catching on to this charade?) The FBI also dropped their pursuit of terrorists and focused their attention on the whereabouts of the Fifth Column's computer(s). For the FBI's definition of "terrorist" includes anyone who questions the FBI's Montana drug-dealing, the FBI's criminal use of confidential information, or the FBI's falsification and destruction of critical evidence. Much of this, of course, is being done for the political benefit of Bill Clinton. The rest of it is being done because, well, it's just in their nature. (They've come up empty handed, computer-wise, haven't they Brother Bill? Hey, it's no mystery where the computers are. They are right there close, watching you every minute of the day. Have you checked those transponders on the Presidential helicopter(s) recently?) But the Justice Department isn't stopping with the FBI files. It will also be opening an investigation into drug dealing in California, an investigation of charges outlined in a series of articles in the *San Jose Mercury News*. The articles claimed tons of cocaine were supplied by a Northern California drug ring to Los Angeles street gangs, with some of the profits going to Contra forces in Nicaragua. CIA Director John Deutch told Barbara "I-don't-want-to-know-anything about-Whitewater" Boxer that he also would review the *San Jose Mercury News* charges. He may or may not be serious. But Deutch appears somewhat more interested in looking into the drug-smuggling activity at the Mena, Arkansas, airport during Bill Clinton's tenure as Governor. (Don't believe that crap you read from the Conspiracy Theorists over at the New York Times and the Washington Post, Brother Bill. You know, the stories that say a grand conspiracy of World Christian Militia Right-Wingers of the Illuminati are out to get you? This is *bipartisan*, Brother Bill. This will hit George Bush as well as you. On the other hand, Bush isn't President and you are. At the moment, you have a lot more to lose.) The Mena operation began as Bill Casey's brainchild to turn Russian soldiers in Afghanistan into drug addicts by supplying them with cocaine. But it quickly grew into a vast for-profit enterprise of drugs and arms in Central America and elsewhere. Involved were CIA pilots and assorted personnel. It also included the Ft. Meade-based National Security Agency, of clipper chip and money-laundering fame, who oversaw administratively the National Programs Office (NPO). The NPO, under Oliver North, ran a series of secured facilities (for stashing drugs and arms) at Mena; Fire Lakes, Nevada; and Iron Mountain, Texas. (See "Part XXX: Allegations Regarding Vince Foster, the NSA, and Banking Transactions Spying.") The enterprise also involved elements of the Mossad, who helped smuggle drugs and money between Arkansas and Panama. Who knows? The Justice Department may even get around to investigating that crematorium on the now closed military base near Mena airport. This little oven was run by the same people who have specialized in pointing their fingers at bad-boy Saddam Hussein. Maybe Saddam has no monopoly on atrocity? Sometimes the crematorium operated night and day, generating its sickening sweet smoke. After one incident which saw a large quantity of cocaine dumped all over a Mena runway, it is estimated that as many as twenty bodies went through the crematorium: some because they were killed in the ensuing melee, and some because they had seen white powder they weren't supposed to see. (You knew about the crematorium, didn't you Brother Bill? When news like that starts to emerge, you know the king is dead, politically speaking. Just whose pain is it you are feeling now? If you thought last week was bad, just wait till you get a load of the current one. Your kingdom has been numbered, weighed in the balance, and found wanting.) September 8, 1996 Web Page: http://www.aci.net/kalliste/